Two months old

Max you turned two months old yesterday. So much has happened since my last post.

On Sept 1st your Grandpa (my father) passed away. It was only three days after they had returned back to the States to visit us. It gives me great comfort knowing that he got to meet you. He fell in love with you the minute he saw you and I know that he would of been a good Grandfather to you. I am sad that you will miss out on that. My father passing away happened the very day that your Auntie Lee Ann and her family came to visit. The only stayed two days because they had to get back for the funeral but you had great fun playing with your cousin Andrew.

I was beside myself because I could not go to the funeral. It was heartbreaking not to be able to go home and help take care of mother. You were only three weeks old and there was no way that you could travel plus you didn't have your passports as of yet. I am okay with that though. You are the most important thing to me and your safety and health come first.

Around 1 month old (almost to the day) you started smiling. You smile more and more every day and it is so heart warming to see. It brought tears to my eyes the first time. It made me so happy because you were always screaming so much I was worried that you were in pain all of the time. To see you smile was such a relief. You were experiencing happiness - what a joy!

You also are making cooing noises. Lately you started reaching for your feet. You haven't exactly found them yet but I think that it is going to happen soon.

Your Daddy and I are still struggling with your bouts of crying. It's so frustrating because it seems like you are in pain from the colic. Plus you also have an umbilical hernia which might be causing some pain as well. The pediatrician said that usually that goes away by the time you are one and will heal naturally. I am keeping my fingers and toes crossed that is the case.

We still don't have a schedule for you. I am a bit scattered when it comes to a routine but we are working on it!! You are feeding every three hours (sometimes a bit early b/c you are a hungry boy and growing every day).

You had your two months shots on Monday and did great! So brave - and you barely cried. This week you seem to be doing so much better (not so much crying/screaming) and I just hope it continues to get better.You look like such a little man. All grown up and you are only two months. I cannot believe how quickly time goes by. I love you so much.

3 weeks old.....

Baby Max,

Yesterday you were three weeks old. Three weeks - I cannot believe it. Time seems to fly by so quickly in my sleep deprived world. You are doing well and growing...getting big actually. Almost 4 kilos at your last weigh in. You seem to be crying A LOT and of course Mommy cries along with you. All this crying - we are both exhausted. It seems as if you have a bit of colic (esp at night of course!). We went to the pediatrician just to make sure that you are okay and thankfully all is well. We were able to get some medication which seems to be helping.

You just had Grandma and Grandpa leave yesterday. They enjoyed spending time with you. We have two days before your Auntie Lee Ann comes with her family. I hope that you like your cousin Andrew. And I hope that Andrew is nice to you - and to your fur brother and sister!!!

I think if we were to do this all over though I would wait to have visitors. Mommy just wants some time with you alone to get to know you better. I am so tired and it's hard to have people around. Your Daddy has been a big help and as I say in almost every post - I don't know what I would do without him. His eyes just light up when he is around you. He sings to you and you go quiet. Maybe it's because you think he is crazy with his funny made up songs....

This past week we took our first walk alone to the pharmacy. Then this past Thursday we took our first walk with Callie. It takes so much time for us to get ready and out of the house. The hours just seem to fly by. I must admit, sometimes you have gone to sleep for the night in the same clothes that you wore during the day BUT that doesn't mean that Mommy loves you any less.... ;)

Milestone....

A little one but exciting none the less. Max, You and I took a walk to the pharmacy today - by ourselves as Daddy had an appt. You seem to hate your stroller and I couldn't get you to lie in it without crying. After spending over an hour trying to get you settled and sleeping I took out the sling. At first you cried but in about 5 minutes you fell asleep. In fact, our trip was over an hour ago and you are still in the sling fast asleep. I am sitting here looking at your cute little face while typing.

Yesterday we took a walk around the park - and you didn't scream once.

Last night you slept from 12 30-4am and then 5am until about 8am. A true milestone. Mommy was finally able to get a bit of sleep. Usually you have been sleeping for about an hour at a time and then you wake up and scream. Actually - you seem to cry a lot. I think that it might be gas. Your poor Daddy looks like his heart is breaking when you cry.

Let's see how it goes tonight....

Love you little guy.

Happy 1 week Max.........

You are 1 week old today. It's been incredible, absolutely incredible to have you home.

The first night home was Wed 12.08 and I wish that I could say that it was easy, but it wasn't. I think that maybe you were stressed from the hospital to home transition and all you did was cry. I felt so helpless and nothing seemed to be working. Thankfully Daddy L came to the rescue at 1am and held you until you calmed down and fell asleep and he also gave me time to regroup a bit. What would we do without your Daddy??? He is so good with you and helps me so much. I don't know how I got so lucky to have two such wonderful men in my life!!

Last night went much better. You slept in bed with us. It's the only way you seem to sleep at night. I am not a big fan of co-sleeping. I am so afraid that one of us will roll over on you (yikes!) but it's the only thing that seems to calm you at night. So as long as you feel safe and secure that is what is important to us.

Your fur sister Callie is fasinated by you. She hasn't been sleeping or eating - she just follows us around the house with a concerned look in her eyes. She seems to be a bit more calm today and you both sound asleep in the bedroom. I think that she is excited as well are to have you in our lives.

Today your Grandparents are coming to visit from Sweden. I can't wait for them to see you!

Max.........

You are 4 days old today and your Daddy and I are so in love with you.

You were born on the 7th at 3.22pm weighing 3.55 kilos and 50 cm in length. You have my nose (which is a good thing!) but you look like your Daddy and your hands are SO big. Your eyes have changed colors 3 times already. When you were born they were blue, the next day green, and now they seem to be more of a hazel color. Your coloring is so fair and you have the biggest cheeks - and a small cute little chin. You are not crazy about being bathed or changed but who could blame you??!

You love to suck on things.... me...your fingers, and today you were actually holding a pacifier in your mouth. It seems as if it really soothes you to have something in your mouth. We had one rough night where you wouldn't stop crying. Poor thing. The night nurse and sage femme tried doing everything thing in their power to soothe you to no avail. You were known the next day as the little boy that cried all night. You seem to be sleeping better now which is good for both of us!

I get to take you home tomorrow. I can't tell you how happy that makes me. I know that your fur brother and sister are very excited to meet you. It will be so exciting to have us all home together as a family.

Birth story

Max arrived on 07.08.09 via a C Section. It was not what I had planned but my only concern was his well being.

We were scheduled for an induction on the evening of the 6th. The induction was required because Max hadn't dropped at all. My fluid levels were low and I noticed a decrease in fetal movement in the past week.

So....I arrived at the Clinique and they deposited two pills. One at 8 and one at 12am. Nothing really happened. There was not much progression/dilation so they started the Pitocin drip around 8am. I wanted to try to do this birth naturally but with the strength of the contractions caused by the pitocin it was impossible. I was asking for the epidural by 10am and quite frankly I am suprised that I lasted that long. The doctor checked on me a few times and by 2pm still no real progress. The monitoring showed that Max's heartbeat was strong but there really wasn't much movement so it was time to make a call. He said that we should do the C section and get Max out now while he was still doing well.

By 3pm I was prepped and in surgery. I have never been so scared in my life. In the back of my mind I had a notion that a C Section would be necessary and L and I discussed that if it was - then it had to be done. Everything happened so quickly though - I barely had time to mentally prepare for the procedure. I was whisked into the operating room. There seemed to be at least 10 people running around prepping me, and things in the room. Everyone was speaking very quickly (in French) and I started to panic. The began to give me the anesthesia and it made me very foggy. I had a difficult time hearing and had an oxygen mask on so I had a difficult time speaking as well. When I couldn't hear the doctors asking me questions I then really started to freak out. I cried and couldn't stop. As soon as that happened everyone stepped back a bit, slowed down, and tried to calm me down. Lars was in the room as well which helped.

(The Swiss are funny people but I have learned while here that the way to get them to be nice to you is to break down and cry. It's amazing how much they change when they see you cry).

By 3.22pm little Max was born. They showed him to me but then had to take him away to be checked. L went with him so that he wouldn't be alone. I was put into a recovery room for about 1 hour 30 minutes but L made sure that they brought my baby to me so that I could try to breast feed him and bond a little bit before they had to take him away again. After the recovery room I was put into my own room and the IV's etc stayed in me until the next day.

I am so happy that we have our baby boy but I must admit that I really missed that initial bonding period that we would of had if I had given birth naturally. L was the one that spent time with him and gave him his first bath the next day because I was unable. I didn't even see his little toes and bum until day two. We are making up for lost time now but I still can't help feeling like I lost out on something. I just keep reminding myself that the C section was indeed necessary - he had the cord wrapped around his neck and would of never of come out otherwise.

It's been very hard dealing with the pain of the operation and giving birth - not to mention being in the Clinique away from home. The first few days were overwhelming to say the least. Now things are starting to settle down (my emotions included) and I am looking forward to going home tomorrow.

D- Day

Today is your Due date! Although it doesn't seem like you are any where near coming out......

We had a doctor's appt on Monday this week and while you are head down you are still not engaged. My fluid is a bit low so they recommended that we induce you. While inducing is not ideal for me - I would much rather prefer to do this naturally - I am thinking about your well being. I want you to come out strong and healthy.

I am nervous, anxious, scared but most of all looking forward to meeting you, holding you, and loving you. It brings tears to my eyes just thinking about it.

We can do this together little baby boy!

I can't wait to meet you.

Only 10 more days to go......

to the due date!  Soon I will be 39 weeks and in not too much time now we will have our LO!  Wow - 10 more days.  I can barely believe it.  This birth is all I think about (and talk about!).  All I do is sit and wait.....and wonder.....how/where/when it will happen.   It's exciting to think that we will finally get to see what our LO looks like.   I am excited, scared, anxious, nervous, etc, etc all at the same time.

It feels like I have been pregnant for 5 years.   I just can't wait for the end result.  

Come on little guy - your mommy and daddy are waiting for you!

Only 2 more months to go.........

until we meet our little one. 2 more months - that's approx 60 days. I still cannot believe it.
When I found out that I was pregnant, in the beginning the days, weeks, months seemed to strech out forever. Now that the day nears closer it seems as though the days are rushing by. We are pretty much prepared but there are still things to do. It's getting uncomfortable to move around and quite frankly I am tired of people telling me how big I am. Would they ever say such a thing if I wasn't pregnant?? And of course I am getting bigger. There is a BABY in my belly and he is growing so that he can come into this world healthy.
Wow - where did that come from???

Anyway - I am excited to meet the baby boy. There are so many things that I wonder about......what kind of personality will he have, what will he look like? Is he going to be an early riser since he seems to like to dance in my belly between 5-6am??? He always kicks when I am in the shower - will he be a water baby and love the ocean like me and his father??? I see bits and pieces of his personality now. The last time that the doctor did an ultrasound he was sucking his toes instead of his hands. Contorted into a position that only a baby could manage. The doctor actually laughed and it makes me wonder how flexible he will be when he grows up....

I used to feel kind of silly while talking to my belly but now I do it all of the time. The best is when the hubby talks to him, rubs him, and tells him how much he loves him. It brings tears to my eyes just writing about it now. It's the best thing in the world. I think that we are both in awe over this little human being in my belly. It's an amazing time for the both of us and I am so lucky to have both the baby and my hubby in my life. I don't know what I would do without them.

Tulip festival in Morges

NYC......

What a fantastic trip! I am so embarassed though that I did not take even ONE photo. Terrible, isn't it?? Oh well - next time, right? It was great to be in NY. There is always so much to see and do - and the noise! Wow, do I miss noise. The first day I though - oh my there is a lot of noise, by the second day I was in love all over again. The joy of any type of food you can imagine, ordering in breakfast on a Sunday morning when it is raining too hard to go out, $25 mani/pedis - and the shopping!
I stayed on the upper west side with a friend and we had a blast. I did a bit too much walking though and I was sooo tired. It took me awhile to recouperate after I got home.

Upon arriving back in Geneva I go 'pulled over' by customs. I told them that I didn't have anything to declare but they started going through my stuff anyway. I left a receipt for a pair of sunglasses in the box (so obviously they were new) and then the games began. The man started pulling everything out of my carry on shouting - this is new, this is new, this is new.....even though half of the things weren't new. I started yelling back at him that it wasn't new. We were arguing back and forth then he brough his supervisor out and I said to her - listen, these things aren't new - I am sorry that I have nice things and I am sorry that I take care of my things but you being a woman must understand this. Needless to say she helped me out a bit. She did say though that she wanted proof that my camera was more than 6 months old. I said - you're kidding right?? You want me to carry around receipts for items that I use and travel with just to appease you all??? I don't think so. So she took the serial number down of the camera. Whatever.

The man charged me a fine for not declaring the sunglasses and a pair of jeans. Total was 128 CHF. It could of been a lot more, and I must say that I got off lucky. The the man was like do you have any cigs or alcohol. I wanted to say - can't you see you f'ing idiot that I am pregnant???! For God's sake, I just got off of an 8 hour flight - I am tired and hungry and just want to go home. After being there for about 30 -40 minutes arguing, being fined, etc I was able to go on my merry way. Welcome back to Switzerland.

Dam* Swiss.

Cosas.....

The Hubby and I went shopping for baby furniture and end up ordering a nursery set, a stroller, and a car seat. It's a bit early to be ordering things but the delivery time in Switzerland is 2 1/2 months. CAn you believe it??? I suppose that they just don't keep things in stock here and everything has to be ordered. We only have one free weekend from now until the end of April so it was a good time to get the big stuff out of the way.
For the stroller we ordered the bugaboo cameleon:



The car seat is the maxi cosi with the ISOFIX system:



Now, just awaiting my trip to the States so we can buy most of the little things at less than half of the price that they sell them here in Switzerland.

Amniocentesis

A few weeks ago I had blood work done for my 2nd trimester quad test.  About a week later my doctor called me and suggested that I have an amnio test done because I showed an elevated risk for DS.  I was surprised because I wasn't really expecting those types of results.  I figured that my numbers would be fine.  My figures were 1:280 and the doctor said that anything under 1:380 they suggested that I have the test done.

I wasn't really sure what to do, so I did make the appt.   The appt. was for the next week so it gave me a good week to think about the test and decide whether or not I wanted to do it.  The reason that I wouldn't want to do the test is that there is a risk of miscarriage.  Was it really worth the risk??  I turned and tossed at night not knowing what to do.  I then talked to people in my mum's group and also went to an amnio support group called baby center.  I highly recommend this support group if you are struggling on whether or not to have an anmio. Through a bit a research I found out that I could opt for a level II ultrasound.  This would check all of the baby's measurements and also see if all of the body parts were as they should be.  Now why wouldn't my doctor tell me about this test???

I called the doctor and told him that I wanted the Level II US before I decided to do the amnio. 

L took me to a specialist to have the US.  I was so nervous.  Everytime she went over a part of the baby's body I was holding my breath.  It turns out that she saw nothing wrong with the baby and based upon my results increased my results to 1:560.  We decided that based upon those findings we would NOT do the amnio.  I am at peace with our decision.

And by the way.......it's a BOY!!!

Hello Everyone!

One of my favorite shots that I have taken of Callie so far!

NYC here I come!

I was jealous that the hubby went to NYC for a week on business.  Not only did he get to have a week in New York but he got to go out to dinner with my friends whom I miss dearly.  I was so jealous that I went ahead and booked myself a little trip to NYC in March to visit my friends.  

This is most likely the last real spontaneous, for myself, trip that I am going to make before the little one arrives in August.  I am excited about the trip but really wish that I could drink all of those wonderful martinis, and cocktails that I miss so much.  But then again, maybe it's for the best......  :)

Prenatal yoga

I must admit, I was a bit leery about the 9 15 start time for a prenatal class that I found in Gland. That means that I would have to leave around 8:30 or so to make it and not be rushed. Sad, isn't it when 9 15 seems early??! I am happy to announce that I did make it and I quite enjoyed it. There were two other girls taking the class due any day now - in fact one of them might have her baby - TODAY!! I find it fascinating that people do things up until their due date. I feel like I would hide in the house just waiting for "IT" to happen. I would be afraid to go outside for fear that I would have the baby. I guess by the time that your 9 month rolls around you really don't care much anyways - you just want it to happen and it doesn't matter where.
The class was good and it was in English. There was more talking than yoga and I felt like maybe I should be doing more but I actually felt a bit tired after the class. Interesting. It's funny b/c I am showing but not a lot (only in my 15th week (or is it the 16th week?? i can never keep track). Sometimes I feel like a fraud b/c I don't have this huge belly. I know it will come soon enough but I do want it now. I want to see that the baby is growing and feel it kick. Sometimes I get worried that nothing is happening...... I was never one to be patient.

Afterwards I met two friends for coffee. All in all it's been a pretty good day.

Sooooo LAZY

How can it be so difficult to post on a blog at least once a week??  Apparently very, very difficult because I cannot just bring myself to do it.  BUT I do have some exciting news to share that might help me be more religous in posting on this blog.  I am pregnant!  I have passed my first trimester and have told most of my friends.  In order to keep them updated on this event - I must post!  

I am excited for the arrival of our baby.  I am nervous and scared shitless as well.  I never really pictured myself as a mother - I have always been a bit too selfish with my me time.  But honestly - it makes me so happy just to think that L and I are going to have an addition to our family.  I  can think of no greater gift than having my husband's baby.  The way his face lit up when I told him after I took the test was priceless.  It was even better to watch him looking at the baby when we went for the most recent sonogram.

I feel fine, except that I am tired, TIRED, TIRED....ALL OF THE TIME.  It's exhausting carrying around a little one.  I have been lucky and have no morning sickness. 

Here is a picture of the little one. At the next appt. we should be able to tell the sex of the child. I think that it is a boy....

January

I cannot believe that another year has gone by.  The go so quickly.....

Our New Year celebration was very relaxed this year.  We had a quiet dinner at home with the "kids".  No hoopla for us.  I much prefer it that way anyway.  New Year's Eve is overrated. 

No real NY resolutions for me - I end up breaking them by the beginning of Feb. anyway.  I have decided to do a couple of things differently though:  I want to use my weights at least 10 min p/day - at least 5 days a week, floss my teeth daily, blog more, and be a bit more social in Lausanne.  

Wait a minute - are those New Year resolutions??  I am going to look at it more as lifestyle changes.  ;)